Think of You

I can’t not think of you

when I see a sunrise

I can’t not think of you

when I see Phineas and Ferb

I can’t not think of you

when I hear a sneeze

I can’t not think of you

when I see a lamb

I can’t not think of you

when I hear “Let Her Go”

I can’t not think of you

when I see white with cream

I can’t not think of you

when I see an elephant

I can’t not think of you

when I see a card game

but isn’t that the way life is suppose to be?

Filled not only with things and experiences

but with people

to define those things and experiences.

And so I think of all the people

that fill and define my life

with a smile

because that is what each of you

make me think of

Wikimedia/Jessie Eastland

Memories’s Magic Act

When the world seems too much

When the weather in my mind is rainy

When that familiar ache in my heart whistles its melancholy tune

When I miss you

Then I will think of this moment

I will think of it briefly and sparingly

Just enough to see the sun and change the melody in my heart

Because the more I relive a moment

The less its potency

It fades until the smile it gives

Is only a marred reflection

Of smiles past

How sorrowful it is indeed

That our favorite memories

Disappear

But that just means that we have to make new ones

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Role Models

I have found that

role models that I’ve never met in real life

aren’t role models at all,

only people who I think are good at what they do

but no one I should model myself after

because they are good at what they do

and I should be good at what I do

not at what they do.

I have found that

role models that I see everyday

are the best role models

because they are not only role models

but they are people who care about me

and I care about them.

I can see their daily struggles

and not just the ones the camera catches.

I can talk to them and they can talk to me

So I want to thank you

all my role models,

but especially the ones

who know me and love me personally

because you have had a personal hand in making me, me

so thank you for being you, the real you

Johnny

“Can Johnny come out and play?”

I’m sorry, but Johnny is still in bed

trying to decide whether to have Captain Crunch or Trix for breakfast

And he has to figure out if he wants to watch PJ Masks or Paw Patrol

Also whether his favorite color should be green or blue

And find the answer why dogs don’t meow and cats don’t bark

As well as how ceiling fans work

After that, why water is blue, but snow is white

On top of all that, does he really like Melissa or does he just like that she has red hair because he does also

Also is his teacher, Ms. Jones, really that happy or is it her coffee in the morning

And why is Colorado the only straight sided state

Decide whether he should play soccer or baseball

And in middle school should he go through an emo phase

Should he commute to college or live in a dorm

Also is drinking allowed when he is 20 and 9 months like getting his driving permit at 14 and 9 months

And are student loans really worth it

If so, major in what

Choose whether memorizing or actually learning is better

Ponder why all the pretty girls don’t want to talk to him

As well as if his boss hates him or simply doesn’t care in the slightest about him

How he is going to pay the rent this month

Who to vote for governor

Should he pop the question to Staci

Pink and grey or light blue and buttercup yellow for the wedding

Mortgage, car insurance, leaking roof

And Golden Retriever or Basset Hound

Does he want to know the gender of the baby before hand

Pay raise if it means more hours at the office

How to make a toddler understand that the potty is where she makes her messes

Go to Hawaii for his five year anniversary

Buy a mini van or truck

Why does his wife’s Facebook page have no pictures of him, only the kid

Try to have another child after a miscarriage

Change jobs with a shorter drive, but more demanding work load

Should the twins names start with the same letter

Public or homeschool

And the doctor says to lose weight

Also should he root for his home state or current state to win the Super Bowl

What to do about Uncle Steven’s health failing

Have enough money to go to DisneyWorld

Are Russia and North Korea really teaming up

Put aside money for the kids college or for his retirement

And what about when his kid comes home in the back of a cop car

Should Staci go back to college to get a better degree

Also that unexpected surgery

Mom passing away

And is this man good enough for his daughter

Should date night Fridays become a thing again because the kids are out of the house

Old enough to be a grandpa

The stroke

Will the third grandchild feel as connected to him even though he was in rehab

Does he believe his son when he says he actually didn’t cheat on his wife, she did

Becoming a widower

Driver’s license taken away

What year was he born

“So ummm . . . You’re saying Johnny can’t come out and play?”

To Be Celebrated

Some things are meant

To be celebrated

With a flurry of handshakes

Or kind words of “well done”

Some things are meant

To be celebrated

With group hugs

Or pats on the back

Some things are meant

To be celebrated

With hurried phone calls

Or squeals of joy

Others things are meant

To be celebrated

With thankful prayers

And silent, smiling hearts

In That Moment

It was one of those moments

where it seemed to stretch on forever

because it does.

I will carry

that peace

that excitement

that serenity

that safety

that bliss

that openness

that fun

that freedom

that love

forever

because I have chosen

for that

for this

moment

to never end.

Life may take me

hundreds of miles aways

and scores of years past

but that moment

this moment

will live on

as long as I do.

In that moment,

I felt an overwhelming

gratefulness for my life

and for the people who

make it worthwhile,

oh so much more than worthwhile

It is truly a blessing

to feel the love of life,

and I did

and I still do

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Trapped

You used to come so easy to me,

and now I can hardly get a phrase out.

I string together a few letters

and a gust of wind blows them away

higher than any kite in the sky,

but I can still see it.

I yearn for the writing high,

that ache filled.

I crave the feeling of accomplishment

when finishing a piece

and having nothing left to exhale.

It seems like I can’t even

breathe out anymore

with how much my words are trapped.

And it hurts

me

it hurts

to not be able to write

something so simple

and hugely complex.

I miss it.

I’m trapped:

Ask me to write a scholarship essay,

I’ll have it to you in 20 minutes.

Quiz me on Gutenberg printing press influence on the Protestant Reformation in a short answer essay,

I will provide exquisite details bringing a tear to any teacher’s eye.

For my own pleasure,

write a poem or chapter in my novel.

. . . nothing . . .

If I didn’t know better,

I’d think I have forgotten how.

And the little inspiration

I have had

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Select Few

How is it that something so magnificently gorgeous

has become mundane?

How is it that beauty

no longer stops the world

just to stand in awe of it?

How is it that splendor

became normal?

How is it that a fly

is something you swat at

and not wonder at?

How is it that the letter  “T”

is in almost every sentence

and we do not hold it in reverence

whenever we cross those lines?

How is it that sharpening a pencil

does not astound us

in its incredible feat?

How is it that God created all the world

but we only revel in the glory of a select few?

Wikimedia/Jessie Eastland

The Moon, My Friend

The moon, though, is a different matter entirely

Forever bolstering a light not his own

His limited and frugal glow

Barely enough to see by

Compared to his older sister

Who laughs unbashedly

And flings wide her embrace

At every chance meeting

Moon lits up not the sky

But just a path

Not enough to see the world by

And sometimes not even him

He promises to be by my side

Then leaves after a couple of days

He smiles wide

But it is pock marked and grey

No where near as joyous as his sister’s

He is always hiding something,

Never telling the full story

I would call moon a fickle friend

Not necessarily entertaining when he’s here

But at least he’s strong enough

To bare and show his scars

And maybe he shines just enough

To illuminate the important things

As for his inconsistent presence

Ever thought to wonder if

He wants to leave?

Supermoon, September 28, 2015 (UTC), Osaka, Japan.

God Didn’t Have To

God didn’t have to create beauty

but He did

God didn’t have to create color

He could have made the world only in shades of orange

but He created too many colors for us to count

God didn’t have to create smiles

He could have dulled us to emotion

but He created that feeling you get inside

when you know you are loved and that you love

God didn’t have to create rhythm

He could have made sounds dissociated from each other

but He created melodies that resound in your head

and march with your heartbeat

God didn’t have to create memory

He could have unhooked us from time

and only exist in the present

so much heartache and regret would be wiped away

and with it would be childhood friends and the smell of fresh cut grass

but He created moments that last forever in hearts

God didn’t have to create communication

He could have made us live in our own secluded existence

and prevent fighting and harsh words

and prevent jokes and “I love you”

but He created over six thousand languages

and countless ways to say “happy”

God didn’t have to create anything

but He did

I think God is an optimist

and we should admire the extravagance of a sunset

and not the ending of a day

God created beauty because He wanted to

Niagara Falls on a recent vacation