Tag Archives: growing up

Teddy Bear

Sometimes I wish I could be a little kid’s teddy bear.

I could be held tight and loved,

they’d whisper secrets and good night wishes in my ear,

I’d go to tea parties or fight evil masterminds,

I could be a princess or fly to the moon.

I’d be able to comfort them when they had to go to the doctors,

I’d go on family vacations and look out the window on a plane!

I’d be their closest friend and be with them everywhere.

But then the kid would get older

and have to go to school.

How I would long for them to come home for a nice snuggie embrace,

the hours would get longer and longer because they’d go to friend’s houses after school.

One day they’d be late to school and I would end up on the floor,

sadly, I wouldn’t be missed for a few days,

I begin to wonder if I am still loved at all . . .

Until I am picked up, held close and kissed on the head,

My boy or girl would exclaim, “I have been looking all over for you!”

I would be hugged extra close that night!

School days wore on and

I’d watch them practicing their spelling, then their multiplication tables, then geography.

Eventually there was pages of homework!

And I thought all you had to do to be smart was know how to give a really good hug.

Sometimes late at night, my boy or girl would whisper to me about their crush at school,

I loved knowing their secrets and still being held close again.

One afternoon the crush was going to come over

My boy or girl would run around in a frenzy making sure their room was up to par,

They’d pick me up

(I would think they’d want to show me off!)

but instead they would say, “I can’t have you lying around! I don’t need my crush still thinking I sleep with a teddy bear!”

I’d be tossed in the closet along with some dirty old socks!

How dare they cast me away when I kept their secret for so long!

Maybe I didn’t like this crush so much after all?

But they seemed to make my boy or girl happy and that’s all that matters,

right?

I would begin to find my new home in the closet,

it was dark and small,

but I would just pretend it was peaceful and cozy.

I was picked up years later and what I saw was a room full of boxes,

the room had changed more than that,

there was college flags, sports jerseys, band posters.

My boy or girl would wipe the dust away from my matted down fluffy and say,

“Oh, teddy bear, I almost forgot about you!

Little good you’d do me now, I am going off to college. I couldn’t let you be seen there.”

So with little care,

I’d be tossed in this big black trash bag.

Maybe after all,

I wouldn’t want to be a teddy bear.

teddy-bear-315390_960_720

Pixabay/user:PublicDomainPictures

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Oak Tree Memories

As I sit here

in this chair

in my bedroom

(a place I rarely visit except for slumber)

I stare not only at my lap top screen

yet also at my dresser.

Full inside of it are T-shirts

and shorts

and carpi pants

But on top of it,

there lies memories.

When I was younger

I had a collection of Precious Moments figures

little angels and praying boys and dancing girls

I use to call my dresser and the collection my “breakable shelf”

for touch a ceramic figure and it might break.

Is the same true for memories?

Delicate little things

as fragile as a flower

yet as durable as an ancient oak tree

it all depends on the memory

Where are the keys?

When was his birthday?

Did I turn off the curling iron?

Fragile memories

These memories upon my dresser are not fragile memories

they are parts of what make me, me

and so they are oak trees, not fragile flowers.

***

The first oak tree memory

belongs to a sparkling flower necklace charm,

one that was found in playground wood chips

A treasure found where another had lost it

Another oak tree memory

a pair of music box clowns

given to my father

by a great-grandmother that I never met

yet because of her gift, I feel as though I have met her

for her memory lives on in these oak tree memories

More memories:

a shell found on a Lake Superior beach

a miniature elephant made from obsidian from Mexico

a rock from my yard

a key chain from my future college

some unworn superhero wrist bands

a framed picture of my first paycheck

some cutouts of superheroes from cereal boxes

a coffee cup of my grandma’s, who is currently living in Heaven

two angels given to me and my sister at my grandmother’s funeral

some Bible verses written in colorful pens

a Spider-man musical birthday card from last year

These eccentric oak tree memories

make up an eccentric me

and I hope to be

an oak tree

and not a fragile flower.

However, I must remember

that every an oak tree

starts from a teeny tiny, little acorn.

Maybe these oak tree memories

aren’t oak trees at all

maybe they are acorns

and I’m the oak tree.

 

oak-tree-and-sun

Secret Spies and Algebra 2/Trig

I miss you

or maybe I just miss the memories we made

You’re still there

and I’m still here

Right next door

like we have been for almost thirteen years

I still see you every week

We still talk every week

. . . But seeing you and talking with you

isn’t the same as

being with you

I know you’re always there for me

And I hope you know I’m always there for you

But . . .

I miss you

or maybe I just miss the memories we made

***

Playing with the hose in the summer time

over at Grandma’s

pretending like we were firefighters

or whales

or secret spies with water/laser guns

We could travel the world

and be anyone or anything we wanted to be

with an old garden hose

***

Collecting moss growing on trees

and wood chips

and leaves from shrubs

and mud

we pretended like we were witches

making some magical potion

or we were super secret scientists on the edge of a breakthrough

and all we needed was a moon rock

and we would create a serum for superpowers

or we were secret spies (we really loved secrets, didn’t we?)

trying to stop the villain from collecting all the materials for a nuclear bomb

***

Sledding at your house

then my house

then your house

then my house

on winter snow days

where we would have sledding competitions

against the other super secret spy team

or we would create the biggest, tallest, thickest

snow fort the world had ever seen

of three feet tall

that would melt by the end of the month

or we would make snow angels until they covered the yard

***

On the bus you would show me the dresses you drew

and we would oh and aw at them

and you wanted to be a fashion designer

or we would crawl under the bus seats

from the front to the back

and ruin our clothes

but that was okay

because we were doing it together

or when you told me paper was the healthiest, best tasting thing in the whole wide world

so we ate paper for two weeks straight

***

Playing cards down in Grandma’s basement

where you taught me solitaire

and 52 pick up

or playing Rummy with Grandma in the dinning room

while eating rhubarb pie

and listening to country music

or playing Go Fish at sleep overs

and passing the cards back and forth

between our toes

***

I miss you

or maybe I just miss the memories we made

Now the memories seem to be

doing retakes together in Algebra 2/Trig

or brief chats consisting of “I like your shirt today!”

before class starts

or texts asking for a ride home

I know you are just a short walk away

or a text

or a phone call

but . . .

you might also be a childhood away

maybe the you I’m thinking about

went away

with the dolls and foam balls and other childhood toys

I miss you

or maybe I just miss the memories we made

***

To: Mysterious, 22

From: Nerd, 19

18 – 14, 18, 19, 19, – 2, 12, 21

Still remember the secret code?

88

 

Chuck girls pigs4