Tag Archives: Superhero

Stupidman

“And so now Lois thinks I’m not interested in her. Well, what was I supposed to do? Let the fire department take care of the kitten in the tree?” Clark Kent laments his story to Ma Kent on the front porch of his childhood farmhouse.

“Well, Clark, you need to learn how to delegate responsibilities to others who dedicate their lives to this,” Ma explained while knitting Clark’s next Christmas sweater.

Clark sat up, “I dedicate my life to this, Ma.”

“No, you dedicate Superman’s life, but you are sacrificing Clark’s.” Ma stopped knitting.

“It was a kitten!”

“Lois was going to kiss you after three years of chasing her!”

“I can’t believe you, Ma. Doubting my choices.” Clark stands, shoots Ma the look he perfected as a thirteen year old, and flies off in the direction of Metropolis.

Ma Kent sighs and shuffles out to the barn to talk to Pa Kent, “Jonathan, it was a kitten this time. A kitten instead of a kiss is why that big baby boy came crying to me today.”

Pa Kent stops milking a cow, “Again? That boy better figure out where his priorities are.”

“I just wish I get it through his thick skull that Superman doesn’t have to save everyone. He can save the whole world four times over but when it comes to stuff like this, Clark is stupid or something,” Ma Kent says.

Then Pa gives her the best idea since he made lead wrapped birthday presents.

Ma spends the rest of the night finishing Clark’s Christmas sweater. Instead of the usual ionic insignia, she embroiders stupid on it. She sets down her work with smile and kisses Pa on the forehead goodnight.

superman

Inspired by the image

Advertisements

Saving Humanity One Death at a Time

“Just so you know, I’m not apologizing. I simply figured that you’d want an explaination,” I say while I put on my purple latex gloves.

“In the United States alone, 5.3 million people suffer from paralysis. Doctors have ways to help once the stroke hits or therapy after the spinal cord injury, but nothing to prevent it. Hopefully that statement won’t be true after you.” I smile at him.

“What are you going to do?” Zenith asks, pretending to hide his nerves.

“Oh, you are such a good audience; you knew exactly what to do, Zenith! Hmm, that just sounds wrong to call you Zenith. What’s your name?” I ask getting out my checklist of procedures.

Silence is my only answer.

“Don’t worry, doctor-patient confidentiality.”

Begrudgingly, “Derek Cromwell.”

“Well, Derek, do you have any familial medical history, especially paralysis that I should know about? Or any current medical issues you have?

“No. And unless if you count superhuman abilities as a medical issue, no.” I would have thought Zenith would have more quips like he does when he is out catching crooks and stopping robbers.

“You mean, your enhanced strength, stamina, and speed? That shouldn’t affect the results too much. But what can you do, never can find the perfect test subject,” I wave my hand as if dismissing the thought. “So you asked how the procedure is going to be done. I’m going to place these electrodes on you-”

“Are you going to stun me with that gun of yours, Stunner?” Derek sneers.

“I built the gun with the technology I am about to perform, yes. And my name is not that blasted ‘Stunner’ as the newspapers boldly dramatizes in the headlines. I am Dr. Erika Quint.” I stand a little taller proclaiming my name. Everyone else will hear my name in the coming months.

“Wait, you’re an actual doctor? That’s why you wear the lab coat? You’re not just a crazy mad scientist?” Derek struggles against his restraints to look at me better.

“Well, technically, almost doctor. My university decided it would be better if I continued my research on my own. I don’t have an angry vengeance thing going on; I understand sometimes people are afraid of genius and the following success.”

“No lust for revenge, huh. In all of my crime fighting, I thought revenge was a number one must on the villain checklist,” Derek says puzzled.

“Ug, I’m not a villain! I’m just ahead of my time,” I finish my checklist. “After the university set me free, other research facilities thought my cause was worth donating their equipment for.”

“You mean you stole millions of dollars in medical equipment and stunned anyone with your gun if they got in your way,” Derek hisses.

“We scientist have to do a lot to fund our research. Sometimes that is wearing a fancy dress and wine and dine the potential sponsors. Or sometimes you have to wear a ski mask and lab goggles and learn how to disarm security systems,” I say while putting the nodes on his bare skin.

“You’re a menace to society.”

“I am saving humanity.”

He barks something that someone might mistake for a laugh, “By stealing, putting countless in the hospital, and experimenting on me?”

“It’s always confused me how most people think that the few currently living outweigh the billions yet to be born. Sure, I take full responsibility for harming a handful of individuals, but it is an easy price to pay for saving millions.” I place the final node on his upper thigh.

“Wow, your deranged conviction. There is no way I can convince you not to do this?” I see, not for the first time, fear flicker in his eyes. But this time it stays there.

“Am I really that deranged? I mean, I really want to know. I am not experimenting on little children, the helpless elderly, or mothers and fathers who would leave orphans. It’s just you, Derek. No girlfriend, mother passed when you were a junior in high school, father estranged. A few close friends, but you always happen to be fighting Empress Entropy and miss hanging out with them. I don’t even think they’ll notice. The thing is, I didn’t pick you because you’re Zenith but because if my procedure happens to not be successful, you, Derek Cromwell, won’t leave a vast gaping hole in the universe,” I say sincerely.

“But . . . I -um . . . Zenith, I mean, I am saving people. This city needs me.”

“Honestly, this city is overcrowded with Heroes. Who needs you when there’s Spider-man or Daredevil? Or the freakin’ Avengers?” I position the lights at the perfect angle.

“Hey I helped the Avengers out once,” Derek says proudly, almost forgetting what is about to happen.

“You filled in for The Thing at poker night. And you lost almost all of your money to Hawkeye. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been planning this for a long time.” I start flipping switches on my machine.

“I’m twenty-three, I have a whole life ahead of me. I can save so many more people,” Derek pleads.

“You will save more people by taking part in this procedure, than you could in a lifetime.” Derek begins to protest, but I put in his mouth guard.

“I’m not going to sugar coat this. It will probably hurt. But you are saving humanity.”

I push the button.

More Human than Hero

Heroes are just humans,

full of flaws and faults

like the rest of us

They may think that

the flaws are hidden when capes and masks are donned,

that faults fly away when they do,

but instead they just fester and grow

into something without edges

or boundaries.

In trying to save the world,

they forget to save themselves.

They turn more human than hero.

And that is what draws us to them.

You can give us super-humans

and although their powers dazzle us,

we are allured to the human in their names.

Placeholder_couple_superhero

So Do Our Heroes

To you, oh comicbooks, do I appoint the dedication of this poem to

All your intricacies and simplicities

All your realities and complexities

You reflect our hearts

of what they are and what they wish to be

Victory and vanity

Freedom and failings

Honor and hesitation

These are you

These are us

We created super-powered beings

with ink and paper and imagination

We created beings with powers due only to gods

We created false gods

knowing that we do the same with flesh and blood

not just ink and paper.

We imbued you with powers beyond comprehension

to change the world

and not just your’s

with evil masterminds

and cat burglars

and devilish henchmen,

but also to change our world.

To give hope

and dreams

and nobility

to little boys and girls

reading your pages.

So that when they grow up

to become big boys and big girls

they can change the world.

Yet,

in giving you powers beyond our comprehension

we also heightened your

failures and faults and flaws

We created Superman

and we created kryptonite

We created Spider-man

and we created Uncle Ben

We created Wolverine

and we created his savageness

We created heroes

and we created their weaknesses

to comfort us

to know that

we have failures and faults and flaws

and so do our heroes.

Hulk 1 cover

Living My Own Legend

I recently found a short story that I meant to continue on with but never did. The story does end quite abruptly because it was never finished, but overall I am pretty happy with the writing considering how inexperienced I was when I first began writing it. Enjoy!


 

“Why did you change your name, Maurice?” My school counselor, Mr. Stephen, asked again.

“Okay, listen to me this time. Maurice Orca, verses Erik Quint. Which do you like better?” I say with a fatigued look on my face.

“Are you sure it’s not because of denial of your past, Maurice – “

“It’s Erik.”

“Erik, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” said Mr. Stephen, doing a terrible impression of Kelly Clarkson.
You see, my name used to be Maurice Orca, until I changed it to Erik Quint in seventh grade. One of the reasons why I did was because my parents were villains who got in a fight with The Man. Look, my parents were bad guys, and they robbed banks and did, well, bad stuff. They were doing one of their heists and were beaten by The Man, and three days later, I visited the morgue.  I have found that in this world you will do better if your last name isn’t the same as big time bad guys.

Continue reading

11 Things I Learned from Batman (1960s)

  1. The best excuse to leave is that you need to go bird watch

aunt-harriet02

 

2. When you have to be super secret going into a super-villain bar, always wear your superhero costume and go up to the bar and ask for orange juice with no pulp.

Orange_juice_1_edit1

 

3. Are you a super-villain? Do you love your mustache? With face-paint, you can keep your stache.

Batman3.1418162459

 

4. You don’t need special effects, you just need to turn your camera

Bat-Climb.

 

5. Your clothes don’t have to match as long as you have bats on them

surfing batman

 

6. Buckle Up!

Batman-seatbelt

 

7. Who needs Mary Poppins suitcase, your Mama’s purse, or that guy’s satchel when you can have Batman’s Utility Belt that has everything, the kitchen sink, shark repellent and all?

shark repellent

 

8. Label everything

batcomputer

 

9. A villain will always go after what their motif is

catwoman_newmar

 

10. Bulters rule

alfred_batphone

 

11. If you are a super-villain’s goon, have your name on your shirt

goons

 

I love Batman, but sometimes I just have to point out the cheese!

The Chameleon: A Triolet

The Chameleon, a life spent to hide the man

A mask so thick he does not want to find who he was once

With his masks, clothes, and skills he could be anyone from your doctor to your fireman

The Chameleon, a life spent to hide the man

Hired as spy and impostor, even if there is not a personal identity, he is a wanted man

With seven billion people in the world, he can find an identity in abundance

The Chameleon, a life spent to hide the man

A mask so thick he does not want to find who he was once