Monthly Archives: July 2015

My One Hundred Word Memoir

I know who and where I would be if I wasn’t a Christian


Left handed

Not a bystander

Not just surviving, forever thriving


Adores dog

Reader of books and comics

Not OK


Gum addicted

Chronically cold

Constantly learning

Completely intrigued by Supers, and not just Heroes

Afraid to be bold

Loves colorful pens

Not only guided by my emotions

My best friend is a surprising one

Gave up on Life to start Living

I don’t have the ‘normal’ human responses

Keeping a handwritten journal has changed my life


Found who I am

I’ve come to understanding

Raining Impact

Watching the heavy pouring rain

Well, more specifically watching the raindrops

hitting the puddles

The water droplets pelting the the standing water

and their ripples are what interests me

When there is a high amount of rain coming down

The raindrops have little and few ripples,

but have relative high splash up.

When the rain is not as pressured

the drops have no splash but many ripples


I believe that is we

as humans

are today.

We all want

and almost need to have

a big splash

something to show for ourselves

But it kicks up

with nothing lasting

not effecting others

Just something to point out


‘I did that!’

Leaving no effect on the world

All of us hitting the same area

so constrained

in one place.



But when we don’t fall within the masses

we have more lasting effects

Yes, no splash

but slowly


we begin to change

the atmosphere

around us

We leave an impression

Though not as many people are


and noticing

the ones who are,

are changed



So do you want a big splash

with people watching

and eventually forgetting?

Or many ripples

a few noticing

but being changed


Your choice.

We all fall from the same rain cloud

but it’s what you do before

you hit the ground.

 leppre / Foter / CC BY

leppre / Foter / CC BY

Being Bold

Being bold

is a conscious deliberate act

and continuous acts that can,

and more than possibly,

will change your peers view

of you and

in turn change you,

forever with no turning back.


I am afraid to be bold

I am afraid to have others perception

of who I am

change drastically


I am afraid to stand out

and what if I cannot stand the test?


Being bold

means that you are always


and what if I just want to be


There is no going back.

It’s constant

It’s continuous

It’s always and only

It’s forever

Being Bold.

Watching the World Go By

I’m watching the world go by.

The dew drops on early morning grass

How the leaves move to the wind making silent music

The cool water seeping through to my soul as I float

Rough rocks and bits of sand and how they are forgotten

A worm wiggle out of the soggy ground from the rain, only to die

Twigs that fall from trees, are stepped on and broken in half

Sunlight that almost crackles when it hits your skin

The soft temperature that is not baking or sticky nor cool

The buzzing of bugs and the chirping of birds

I’m watching the world go by.

And maybe that is all

No more or less

Not thinking ‘Am I a part of the world that is going by?’


Just watching

Just watching the world go by

sunlight 2

God is Fair

Some may question why such a loving God can make the poor struggle to make ends meet while the fat cats just get fatter. Why bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

Matthew 5:45 says, “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” God lets good and bad happen because this is a fallen world. Some may say that the good have worked their tails off to stay good and they get no return, but Isaiah 64:6 says, “all our righteous acts are like filthy rags” the good may have stayed good, but what is good compared to God’s perfection?

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and says, ‘Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.’
‘Okay,’ the man says, ‘I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ says St. Peter, ‘that’s worth two points!’
‘Two points?!’ he says. ‘Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service.’
‘Terrific!’ says St. Peter. ‘That’s certainly worth a point.’
‘One point!?!! I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.’
‘Fantastic, that’s good for two more points,’ he says.
‘Two points!?!!’ Exasperated, the man cries. ‘At this rate the only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God!’
‘Bingo! 100 points! Come on in!’

God is fair, not by earthly standards, but by heavenly standards. Romans 2:11 says, “For God does not show favoritism.” Someone can be a rapist, an adulterer, an embezzler and God will still forgive that person and let him into heaven if the person believes in God, because Jesus died for everyone. Others of you may be thinking, ‘Really? Someone like that God rewards?’ Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Our works do not get us into heaven or hell.

Jesus actually said what our required work is in John 6:28 & 29. Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?” Jesus answered, “The work of God is this:” can you see the crowd leaning in wondering what it is, tithe more, pray more, study more? Sly is this scheme of Satan. Rather than lead us away from grace, he causes us to question grace or to earn it … and in the end we never even know it. “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”

PatrickSeabird / Foter / CC BY

PatrickSeabird / Foter / CC BY

God is fair, the only thing we need to do is to believe, that can be done when you are five, twenty-five, or ninety-five, just make sure you don’t do it too late. God made His salvation open to anyone and everyone because He is fair. People long for fairness, when we reflect God, who is fair, people will only want more of Him.

Do not judge the outside of a person, but give everyone a fair chance, because everyone was created in God’s image and He loves us equally so we should do the same.

Our Contorted Reasonings

People should not be expected

to understand

each other’s reasonings.

An outsider looking in

an insider looking out.

They don’t have the same


things at stake

contorted perception of their reality


People are expected

to understand


with no real


of why

They see the actions done

or the reaction

and make a logical

or illogical


And second guess the person

Saying you could have done this

or that

But you weren’t there

You didn’t have the emotions

that I was having

But in the end

does it truly matter?

It does

People should not be expected

to understand

each other’s reasonings.

An outsider looking in

an insider looking out.

It’s like looking through

a darken



 pmarkham / Foter / CC BY-SA

pmarkham / Foter / CC BY-SA

The One Hundred Word Tear

The tear went unnoticed.

Correction: almost

The tear went almost unnoticed.

The silent


tiny tear

glided down

the cheek.

The tear wasn’t caused by anything

it was not a reaction from




words said


It was not caused by anyone of these things.

The tear came out from the eye

and drifted across and down the cheek.

Until it curved around to the mouth.

There was no streak left behind

No blotches visible

Just a silent



that glided down.

An un-profound tear that went almost unnoticed.

Something with no deeper meaning.

That went unnoticed.

Becoming Vulnerable ~ Part 2

Once upon a wish,

I wished to become vulnerable.

I am.


I got everything I asked for,

down to the little details.

And I can’t handle it.


My senses are overwhelmed,

I can feel everything.


I begged for this,

I said

No matter the cost,

this is the price I pay.


I can’t go backwards,

into unfeeling again.

I’ve realized there is a whole world out there,

to go back?

I couldn’t handle it, just as I can’t handle Feeling Everything right now.


I need to get use to Feeling Everything.

What if I can’t?


I am torn between

love and worthless survival.

I would love to be able to feel,

to be vulnerable.

Yet my invulnerability would allow me

not to feel all the pain I’m experiencing right now.

But that survival would mean nothing,

because I wouldn’t be living.


I learned my invulnerability wasn’t skin deep,

it went to my heart.

I have so many emotions,

I can’t handle it.

All the suffering

and I can’t do enough to make a difference.

And I’m one of the Supers.


I wanted pain,

when others have so much,

I am such a hypocrite.


Current pain seems to be greater than future pain,

I’ve learned.


I choose to become invulnerable,


I choose knowing that my heart

will become stone,

when I’ve felt it be flesh.


I choose unfeeling.

I will become invulnerable,


Becoming Vulnerable ~ Part 1

I long for touch

No, I long for the ability to touch


To feel the difference in



air versus water

taste my food


But to my hopeless misery

I cannot

because I am



I am

impossible to harm or damage

But that also means

that I can’t tell oatmeal from steak

The North Pole from the Tropics

Swimming or walking

Rock or soft fluffy grass


My invulnerability allows me to survive in battle

I wish to become vulnerable to live


Please, I beg you

have mercy on me.

Allow me to become vulnerable,

no matter the cost.

I want to feel pain,

something that hurts so many people,

I want.


Invulnerability to survive,

vulnerability to live.