Tag Archives: Cross

Plans, Tears, and the Creator of the Universe

I was having a hard day some time ago, neither my day or my future seemed like it was going to plan. I was heavy hearted and disheartened, but I couldn’t let the signs of it show.

One thing that you should know about me is that I plan. I plan and scheme and layout my life on an Excel spreadsheet (literally, I’m not joking). I have contingency plans for contingency plans. I stay up late, laying in bed, planning my future so that nothing takes me by surprise.

It’s not that I don’t like surprises, I just like to feel in control, I like to feel safe and know where I’m standing and know where I want to go.

And so when it seemed like my life was not going according to plan or any contingency plan, I felt powerless. I felt lost and helpless and insecure.

I wanted to cry (because that fixes everything (I’m actually joking this time)), I wanted to scream at the world to put itself back in the little box I put it in, I wanted to dream up some plan to fix all this. But my heart was in control and not my head. Oh, the horrible and wondering things that can happen when the heart is in control!

So I walked through the halls holding my shattered plans in my hands and holding my tears in my eyes.

Two of my favorite quotes popped in my head, “The first casualty of any battle is the plan of attack,” by Cory Doctorow and “If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters,” by Claire Cook. But I wasn’t in the mood for inspirational speeches especially if I was the one giving it.

So I finally get to my locker and look up at the Cross magnet I have on it, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” [Italics added] That is God’s work right there. I change my magnet every couple of weeks and it was just by chance that I had Jeremiah 29: 11 up. I was lamenting over my broken plans and the verse used plans three times. God knows the plan; His plan is never broken; He is never caught by surprise; He is always in control. I am secure in His plan. I was upset over my plan when God said that He would give me one of His plans. And I’d take one of God’s plans compared to one of mine, anyday.

The conflict isn’t completely resolved but it is looking better. God said that His plan gives me hope, and it sure has. My heavy heart is now a happy heart. I don’t need my head to be in control when I know that God is in control. I don’t need a plan to make me feel safe; I have faith in the Lord Almighty. And faith is much better than any plan.


“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

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Pixabay/bykst

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Took My Place ~ A Cento Poem

Below is a Cento poem of five contemporary Christian songs about Christ dying on the cross. Each line is from one of the five songs with links to their music videos. So I wrote a poem using different song lyrics. Have a blessed Easter. Enjoy! 🙂


Dependency

My most hated type of prayers are also my favorite type of prayers. The prayers of when I completely fall apart. The prayers of when I crumble, but God is there to pick up the pieces. The prayers of when the world seems too big to understand. My favorite and most hated is when I pray out loud to God in utter helplessness. These are so desperate, so needed, so real, so authentic. Even though my head feels three sizing too small, my soul feels like just enough.

My most hated prayer is when I give everything over to God in dependency.

My favorite prayer is when I give everything over to God in dependency.

Dependency is so hard, to let go, to let someone else take control even if they are more capable, to acknowledge it cannot be done alone.

To be dependent is more than just to put complete trust in someone or something. To be dependent is like allowing yourself to drown because you know the lifeguard will save you. In those horrible moments of panic, all you can think about is how to save yourself, not about the lifeguard diving in to rescue you. You keep thinking about the water you swallowed, fighting to keep afloat and how scary the water just became after a few seconds. Eventually when the lifeguard does come to save you, you fight him because in those moments of panic you still believe that you are more capable.

When my uncle was training to become a State Policeman, he had to save someone from drowning as a training exercise. The first time my uncle tried to save the person who was pretending to drown, my uncle almost drown trying to save him because he was fighting him so much. So when my uncle had to try again the next time, he swam right out and knocked out the man pretending to drown so that he would not fight my uncle.

When Jesus is trying to reach out and save us, we sometimes fight him believing that we are big boys and girls and can do it all by ourselves. We can’t.

When the divorce papers are on the table, you turn to the bottle and not Jesus.

When the doctor says cancer, you turn into a mean pessimistic depression and not a Christian outlook.

When abuse, terrorism, job loss are at your doorstep, you turn into the angry ‘troll’ online instead of God’s word.

And oh it can be so hard, so so hard. You will do anything to cope even if you know that it is not the right coarse of action. You will fight the waters in a panicked frenzy even though you see the lifeguard coming to help.

But God is there; God is always there. Cliche right? But we use it so much because it is true. You need to stop fighting and start trusting your lifeguard. You need to be dependent on the Almighty God.

But it is against our nature. We want control, we want to know the future, we want to forge our own destiny.

But God wants you to be his child again. A child so dependent, there’s that word again, on his parents.

Did you ever think about Jesus in The Garden of Gethsemane? He didn’t want to die, he didn’t want to be mocked and beaten, he didn’t want to have all those hundreds of trillions of sins pummeled against him. He didn’t want to have to go through that so bad, he sweat blood.

Well I have cried, had panic attacks and been unable to stand against the world, but never sweat blood; I don’t anyone ever has.

Jesus undoubtedly did not want to do this, but he did because he trusted God’s will. He was dependent on God.

Now, I am not saying that God will make you die a horrible death like Jesus by any means. But what I am saying is that Jesus came down to earth to show the greatest example of what dependency on his Father looks like.

I am pretty sure that it was not fun by any standards, and giving everything over to God isn’t either. But it is needed.

Jesus died on that cross today two thousand years ago because we needed to be saved from our sins. Because we needed the ability to reach out to that lifeguard when we are drowning. He died so that I could pray my favorite and hated type of prayers.

So I challenge you this Good Friday to try to be dependent on God. Try to allow him to lead. Try to let go and let him pull you to shore.

I know it can be so difficult, but sometimes Jesus just needs to knock you over the head and let you trust him.

So stop drowning and call out to the best lifeguard in the world.

 

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Pixabay/user:Unsplash

Sweet Sorrow of Love

My infant Redeemer laid

His head on coarse hay

in a plate for the sheep

for my sins He paid

from that Child is my only way

My Savior, just a Babe, fell asleep

in a cave made a throne room

As Mary grew round

with the Mighty God

being composed in her womb

did she think her Child would be crowned

with thorns, but to rescue all from the Devil’s maraud?

Each kick was from the Everlasting Father

who grew up to die

and to live again

The Child to be born was time’s author

the helpless toddler’s every laugh and every cry

belonged to the Wonderful Counselor, King of all men

from the virgin birth

came forth the Prince of Peace

to free us from our wrongs

He said His kingdom was not of earth

His kingdom, His glory, His love will never cease

for us to be with Him, He longs

the Sower of the Stars

came forth in a stable,

Did ever such love and sorrow meet?

the One of powerful exemplars

was from a girl of ways simple

Did ever such love and sorrow meet?

Nature’s Inventor

would be pierced by His own work

Did ever such love and sorrow meet?

a blood stained cross belongs to my Redeemer

I think it is His best artwork

Did ever such love and sorrow meet?

Pixabay/bykst

Pixabay/bykst