Controlling the Monster

They think I’m a monster

Well, maybe He is

but I’m not

I’m still all in here

it’s just  . . .

He takes control

and there is

almost

nothing I can do about it

I see

and hear

and smell

and sometimes taste

the bystanders

or the villains

or even heroes

He hurts

that I am letting Him hurt

Sometimes it feels so good to let Him pound on them

But most of the time

I cringe

Most people think of the monster

the brute

The Hulk

but what about the Gamma that is still inside of me

the tingling

smarting

burning

pain

that scratches

and scratches

and never stops

eating away at my skin

No one ever sees it

because I regenerate

but I feel it

constantly and chronically

Sometimes I wonder

what my life would be like if

I let that kid

Rick Jones

be blasted

and not me

It finds what you always wanted

I wanted strength

What did he want?

Would the world be better

If I didn’t try to play hero?

Well, I’m stuck with always trying not to be the villain

Is one act of heroism worth all the collateral damage?

I just wonder how much longer I can keep this up

I keep on screaming ‘NO!’ when He smashs

and He screams right back ‘YES’

That’s my real super power

Controlling the Monster

There is a down side

to every up

But there are more ups

because I can save lives.

marvelousRoland / Foter / CC BY-SA

marvelousRoland / Foter / CC BY-SA

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