Failed Rescue ~ Part 2

It has been 121 days

since I have given up.

***

I’m going crazy.

All the death

it’s still happening

and it’s still my fault

which means it becomes my responsibility

again.

***

I never truly realized how many lives I saved

only how many I didn’t save.

***

I wonder

would their lives continued on

if I had continued on

121 days ago?

***

But then my mind begins to play

the devil’s advocate,

and whispers echo in my ears,

what if I had never started?

Would there have been as many terrors to

my city?

***

What if I don’t use my powers

for good or bad,

I just don’t use them.

***

Then they are not a gift or a curse,

only locked away in a box

and I threw away the key.

***

The key was confidence,

and confidence got them killed.

***

Now I fear I can do nothing.

I can’t move forward

with this new and only one life

that the man behind the mask

chose for me.

***

I can’t go back to my old life

before the responsibility,

before the deaths.

***

But no matter what I do

they keep on building

the deaths keep on building.

Whether I’m the man or the mask

death keeps knocking.

***

I have the potential for good

or death.

I had once thought that I had the potential

for greatness.

***

Now have the potential

to do nothing.

***

Death keeps on knocking

at the box.

I need the key,

but I don’t want it.

***

How can I pick up

the weapon that killed you

and know that it might happen all over again.

***

I am a murder,

yet am I still a hero?

If I don’t pick up the murder weapon

I’ll only be a killer.

***

If I pick up the murder weapon

I could save more lives

and possibly kill more.

***

But I am killing countless people in my inaction.

I could even the scales

or tip them even more.

***

I am going crazy with all the death

I’m causing by doing nothing.

***

I will take action,

I will be a hero,

I will save lives

and in the process

I may kill some more.

***

But it will be worth it

?

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