Halfway to Broken

The time when you just want to seclude yourself

but can’t

When you need to think

but have to act

When you want to feel safe

but not allowed to

This urge that nothing else will satisfy

but there’s no time

So you push the things you personally need most

down into yourself

and do what needs to be done

 

A ball rough with pain and time forms

of all the hurt and confusion

it just settle deep within your chest

somewhere between your lungs and spine

it weighs you down

‘til you feel halfway to broken

You just sit and stare

and wonder

and wonder

and wonder

When you should be doing

You have the time to seclude yourself

but don’t want to anymore

You have the time to think

but don’t want to anymore

You have the ability to feel safe

but you’d rather just sit and stare

and feel empty

yet full of all the pain

You have the time to go through with whatever passing urge was

but that won’t fill you anymore

You’re okay with feeling halfway to broken

yet not at all

You look down at the book in your lap

staring at the words

yet not seeing them

not trying to make sense of their meaning

because that would be doing

When you just want to sit and stare

The words get blurry

Something warm escapes down your cheek

You look past the tear

and catch one word

‘Love’

You begin to read and read and read and read and read and read and read

You absorb everything

 

The ball becomes smoother

less rough

easier to handle

The ball doesn’t grow smaller

The ball doesn’t go away

it spreads out

into a nice warm blanket

you feel safe

Completely and utterly safe

Then you realize

‘Is this . . . peace’

Not calm

Not tranquillite

Not being okay

but peace

Not ready to face the world

Not everything will work out

Not a new found strength

but peace

Just for this moment

You have peace

You savor it

You absorb it

You memorize it

You become halfway to being unbroken

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2 responses »

  1. I love this post! I really enjoyed the way you wrote the poem it really made me want to read more and I am honestly somewhat of a fast reader but this poem really made me slow down and think about what I am reading!

    Like

  2. Dear writer,

    I have graded this post and provided detailed feedback on the Google Doc below.

    You will only be able to access it if you are logged into your school account. This protects it from other users seeing it.

    Feel free to write back to me directly on the Google Doc if you have clarifying questions or comments.

    Thank you for allowing me into your writing world!

    Mrs. Keskes

    https://docs.google.com/a/hartlandschools.us/document/d/10XKjWawfIh-RiqF0P3LRe-eCayau2nOnxndmOI8cMI4/edit?usp=sharing

    Like

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