Daily Archives: April 19, 2015

Halfway to Broken

The time when you just want to seclude yourself

but can’t

When you need to think

but have to act

When you want to feel safe

but not allowed to

This urge that nothing else will satisfy

but there’s no time

So you push the things you personally need most

down into yourself

and do what needs to be done

 

A ball rough with pain and time forms

of all the hurt and confusion

it just settle deep within your chest

somewhere between your lungs and spine

it weighs you down

‘til you feel halfway to broken

You just sit and stare

and wonder

and wonder

and wonder

When you should be doing

You have the time to seclude yourself

but don’t want to anymore

You have the time to think

but don’t want to anymore

You have the ability to feel safe

but you’d rather just sit and stare

and feel empty

yet full of all the pain

You have the time to go through with whatever passing urge was

but that won’t fill you anymore

You’re okay with feeling halfway to broken

yet not at all

You look down at the book in your lap

staring at the words

yet not seeing them

not trying to make sense of their meaning

because that would be doing

When you just want to sit and stare

The words get blurry

Something warm escapes down your cheek

You look past the tear

and catch one word

‘Love’

You begin to read and read and read and read and read and read and read

You absorb everything

 

The ball becomes smoother

less rough

easier to handle

The ball doesn’t grow smaller

The ball doesn’t go away

it spreads out

into a nice warm blanket

you feel safe

Completely and utterly safe

Then you realize

‘Is this . . . peace’

Not calm

Not tranquillite

Not being okay

but peace

Not ready to face the world

Not everything will work out

Not a new found strength

but peace

Just for this moment

You have peace

You savor it

You absorb it

You memorize it

You become halfway to being unbroken

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Ever Onward is God’s Love

Ever onward is God’s love

From the apple temptation

To the end of revelation

Ever onward is God’s love

Noah’s dove found the ground

Of which they were bound

Ever onward is God’s love

From the rainbow color

to the coat of many colors

Ever onward is God’s love

From Noah’s ark

To Pharaoh kingdom cast into dark

Ever onward is God’s love

God harden Pharaoh’s heart

Which led to the red sea to part

Ever onward is God’s love

Jericho’s walls falls

Because of the Israelite’s calls

Ever onward is God’s love

Samson and Delilah, for she dared

to cut his hair

Ever onward is God’s love

Goliath was a giant

But David was defiant

Ever onward is God’s love

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were not burned

The Israelites return

Ever onward is God’s love

God was to defend

Daniel in the lions den

Ever onward is God’s love

Jesus born in a manger

but fled to Egypt because of Herod’s danger

Ever onward is God’s love

From David’s Psalms

To the act of the seas calms

Ever onward is God’s love

In the Bible I read

Of the 5,000 feed

Ever onward is God’s love

From feet washed

To dying on the cross

Ever onward is God’s love

Only a little dose

Before Jesus arose

Ever onward is God’s love

The bright light made Saul lose his sight

But the blight made Paul change his fight

Ever onward is God’s love

The early church argue

But we look to them for us renew

Ever onward is God’s love

From the apple temptation

To the end of revelation

 

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

God let me know

Your word and grow

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

I don’t want to go just through the motions

For you created all, even the oceans

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

I want to go far

With my Lord who created the stars

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

Help me get past the blocks of stumble

And do not tumble

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

I fly over the sand

With God holding my hand

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

God is my only reality

There is no normality

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

Jesus died to save you

And me, too

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

My wicked heart droves in the nails

That his hands and feet were impaled

Ever onward is my Lord’s love

Just like a soaring dove